Balancing teenager independence must know tips? Let’s dive right into this article to understand more.
When it comes to parenting teens, it’s truly a balancing act. While on one hand, your teen needs an increasing amount of freedom to learn about himself/herself, on the other hand, too much freedom can lead them down the wrong path or feeling like you simply don’t care.
How much freedom should I give my teenager? How do I balance my teenager’s need for independence with ensuring their safety and well-being? When it comes to giving teens responsibility, how much is too much?
Balancing teenager independence as a parent know how tips
Balancing teenager independence Important to Teens, why?
Independence means making decisions for themselves and feeling like a ‘grown up’. However, it’s part of your job to make sure that they have a good foundation of knowledge and strong values so that they can make educated and smart decisions.
Not only is freedom integral to your teen’s personal development. If they feel too restricted, it could backfire and result in rebellion. If setting boundaries with teens isn’t handled appropriately, it could backfire and make them want to challenge all the guidelines you’ve set for them.
Balancing teenager independence as a parent know how tips
Balancing teenager independence how to safely give it
Conflict isn’t the problem; knowing how to resolve it peaceably is. The goal is to reach a compromise or truce with a greater understanding of each other, rather than wounding each other.
The following are ways of balancing teenager independence by fighting fair
- Active Listening in order to understand.
- Give Your Teen Constructive Criticism
- Don’t let a confrontation with your teen turn physical.
- Stick to one issue at a time.
- Admitting Mistakes to Teens.
The key to modeling a fair fight with a hormone-charged teenager is to keep your own emotions under control.
· Active Listening in order to understand
Active listening is a skill that you can use to improve your communication with your child. It’s more than just hearing your child – it’s tuning in to your child’s thoughts and feelings.
By using active listening, you can strengthen your communication and improve your relationship with your child. This is because active listening shows your child that you care and are interested. It can also help you learn about and understand what’s going on in your child’s life.
With active listening, you don’t have to talk too much. In fact, the less you talk, the more opportunities you give yourself to understand what your child is saying. This can take the pressure off you to come up with answers and solve problems, and it also makes it more likely that your child will ask you what you think.
Talking with you is good for your child’s thinking processes too. It can help your child to think more clearly because it gives them the chance to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment or correction.
· Give Your Teen Constructive Criticism
It’s important for your teen to be able to hear constructive criticism without automatically becoming defensive or argumentative.
But before they can take that advice, they’ll have to be open to listening to it. Then, they’ll need to be able to evaluate that advice and be open to changing their behavior.
Every time you give your teen constructive criticism, you give them an opportunity to grow and change. You also give them an opportunity to practice handling feedback from others.
Pointing out mistakes in a gentle manner can help your teen see that mistakes aren’t something they should be ashamed of. Instead, you can use it as an opportunity to show them how to bounce back from failure by turning their mistakes into a learning opportunity.
· Don’t let a confrontation with your teen turn physical.
There is a rule about angry confrontations between parents and teens: Parents should not touch the teens under any circumstances. Don’t grab, don’t push, don’t hit, don’t intentionally block their way, don’t corner them. It instantly makes them too upset, flooding them with intense emotions – anger, hurt, outrage – that they often can’t control.
It is not the same as when they are younger. When they have tantrums when they are little, physically picking them up and moving them elsewhere is not a bad thing at all. Holding them briefly when delivering a stern lecture is not such a terrible thing either but with teens, any sort of physical confrontation is a very different thing. It triggers an immediate and deep sense of hurt, violation, and rage.
· Stick to one issue at a time.
Arguments can be slippery slopes, and that is why a rule is needed, to ensure you fight fairly and argue from the same common ground. After all, It is much better to slip and slide on level ground than for you and your debate partner to plunge yourself off a verbal precipice and down the steep slope of misguided arguments.
Don’t allow the argument to turn into something else entirely. As soon as you jump from the pizza topic to making blanket statements, then to attacks on personal judgement and character, and later to questioning who is more valuable in this household — you or the cat — you have already lost the argument.
You’ve lost the argument because you’ve lost control of rational and playful debate. When an argument is no longer based on logical thinking— and instead turns into who is right, who can get the last word in, or who can make the deepest cut in the other person’s pride — then you are well past the point of learning lessons.
· Balancing teenagers independence by dmitting Mistakes to Teens.
Good intentions don’t prevent parents from making mistakes that belittle, betray and alienate teens. Justifying our errors leads us to see what we believe. If you think your teen will make poor decisions, or fear wayward peers will influence him for the worst, you’ll unconsciously seek supporting evidence.
Parents may fear admitting missteps will diminish their authority. Teens need to know they can count on their parents to stick with them as they explore new experiences and confront challenges on their own terms.
Conclusion
Balancing teenager independence is a trust balance that you need to strike. Here are some ways in which you could do that:
- If they are looking for thrills, support them to take on hobbies or engage in activities like rock-climbing, sports, outdoor activities, or even creative arts.
- You can’t protect your child from failing, feeling disappointed, hurt or sad. They have to find this out on their own. Life is about taking risks, both negative and positive ones, that’s how we learn to make the right decisions for ourselves. Preventing your child from taking risks won’t empower them to become the adult you want them to be. Celebrate their successes and learn how to support your child to respond well to failure.
- You won’t always like or agree with the choices your child makes. Being there for them means letting them know that you may not always agree with them but that you will always support them.